Monday, April 2, 2012

Mr Right, Mr Okay or Mr In My Dreams

******So, I was cleaning out my old files and found this. I wrote this a while ago, just after I had broken up with Harry  who plays a starring role in  the first Madness With Men blog post written in November 2010. I thought I'd post ii because, dated though it may be,it so perfectly encapsulates what I've been feeling lately that I may as well have written it today.*****

Closing my eyes brings to mind the image of the one man who will see through all of my pretence and bring the real me wholly and fully to the fore. A man who I can respect,admire and lean on. A man who can make me laugh uncontrollably. A man who can make me cry, but never does because it hurts him too much to do so. A man who knows every flaw I have, but still sees me as his salvation. A man who finds peace in my eyes. A man who makes me weak with a look. A man with whom I can feel total, reciprocated, unbridled passion and deep, fulfilling love. A man whom I fear I will never find.

[Cue the violins...]

Women the world over are feeling just how I feel right now. Lonely. Anxious. Afraid. We have such big hearts, with so much to give and yet, the hard truth is only a percentage of us will find the right guy to appreciate what we have to offer. And then, of course, there is no guarantee it will last. Death, divorce, drink, D cups. Innumerable ways by which the man of your dreams becomes just that. A dream. With the odds stacked so highly against coupledom, why was it ever rational to think that we are not meant to be alone? Because of procreation? Somehow, that seems such a weak argument when faced with all of the practicalities of relationships.

Of all of my friends, I can think of less than a handful in happy relationships. Some of the ‘best’ couples I know, I mean the ones who actually 'clicked', and could very easily have stayed together have broken up because of distance and religion. Ridiculous.

It would seem that being single is the norm and NOT the exception. Because I count people in unhappy/unfulfilling relationships as single. They just don’t want to admit it.

And to be fair, I can’t blame them. Because lately, I think, maybe it is the better plan. To settle. And know that even if you aren’t with Mr Right, you’re with Mr Okay. Which, on cold nights, is so much better than Mr In My Dreams.

I'd like to say that, after writing that, I went on to live by this mantra- how cool and modern would that sound! Hi, I'm Mia, a young, hot professional, cutting a swathe through elegant London bachelors. Dating and dancing and being wined and dined. Revelling in the sexual freedom that comes with being a twenty something year old single in the City.

Unfortunately, I'm just not built like that. I don't see the point in meaningless sexual encounters. I don't get hot for strangers (unless they are on TV,). My best friends alternate between calling me a prude and a loser. I have pathological, Catholic guilt about things and I'm not even Catholic!

I'm as red blooded as the next girl- hell, I'm fairly certain that I'm what one would describe as 'kinky' But, if you don't mean something to me, you're not getting into my pants. Mores the pity....

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